Back...Part 1

Gone...but back!

So...it's almost been a month since the last post. And a lot has changed...massive bits and pieces of my life. Mostly for the good...which is going to hopefully lead to the great.

Recap...end of March through April!

Struggling to put it in order, but I just know what has occurred over the last month. You'll be able to see my mental growth and struggles...along with amazing "ah ha" moments.

Let's start with living....

I love my house...really I do! It's hard to imagine life without independence and without MY house. I've come to love it and adore it...I think since my roomie moved out - I've had to get closer to my house - no I'm not meditating or talking to the rooms, but it's just me and the house. ..that's it! So as a result..you get really close to yourself and the walls within. I PAINTED (well someone else painted - I rolled one small wall - it counts though) - one of the parents from a past student offered to help me paint the kitchen, which led to her painting the kitchen. It looks fabulous - it's a apple green with a lot of yellow undertone...quite bright, but it makes me smile when I see it. I found a few simple decorations - and not it feels like a "kitchen" it is amazing how paint can change the feel of a room. Now...onto the upstairs! I'm going to paint my room blue..cann't wait..and the other rooms are still in question.

What else...well - I stated that I broke up with my boyfriend. Well .... he's back in the picture! Hopefully permantely...as I stated the happy box..wasn't filled, but through some time to myself, reflection, and self talk....I had to mentally work things out. I'm just learning a lot of about me in 2009 and what I need. I have to admit..he is one of the best things that has ever happened to me..and he treats me better than anyone else has...not to compare, but when I really think about it he has been pretty much 81% of what I asked for...I know perfection is unrealistic and everyone always has room to grown. Those areas where I want to grow...and he needs to grow - hopefully we can strengthen together. We're taking it one day at a time...and eventually we will figure it out. I've given others...TOO many chances and they actually treated me wrong, so...I figured he's never done me wrong --- he's just figuring out who he is....so - I might need to hang onto this one. One important thing is to recognize in mate....is the person going through personal turmoil or is the person just bringing in turmoil - there is a difference...not everyone understands what it means to be in a relatoinship and what is necessary....I'm thankful that I found someone that appreciates all the aspects of a relationship through the good and bad! I'm a lucky ducky....just took some personal reflection and acceptance. I had to accept some things that are out of my control and that I need to leave...in the past!

New job! Enough said...I can't wait only 2 months more.

LAX...what in the world. I went to LA....remind me to ONLY visit. If I consider moving....just know that I'm either being forced by the court system or I've won the lottery. I enjoyed my time with my best buddy Jasmine - watching her waddle around was quite interesting. The process of growing and maturing...starting families - has been quite overwhelming. It's just...hit me in the face - and I'm just trying to gain composure. Starting a family is major...and a lot of my friends are taking major steps...down the aisle or town mommy lane --- eventually I"ll be ready but for now I'm enjoying the role of the observer!

More to talk about but...for now that's it. I need time to think about how to address part 2!